The “friendzone” has always been a guy thing, from my perspective. The only people I’ve ever heard complain about were guys. I’ve never experienced this before myself, but I don’t want to discuss how unfair it is to be placed in the friendzone. Instead, I want to talk about the opposite end, the person doing the friendzoning.

I’ve had a lot more experience in this than I like to admit, but I believe a lot more blame is placed on the friendzoner than should be.

Imagine this situation: A perfectly nice girl is minding her own business one day when her friend invites her to meet some of her friends behind the school. These friends turn out the be very suspicious and much older than the two girls. One of the boys takes an interest in the girl and eventually asks her to be his girlfriend. Very uncomfortable with this idea, the girl suggest that they just be friends.

Does this girl deserve to be labeled as the bad guy in situation? The alternative could have been honesty where the girl tell this boy that he makes her uncomfortable and wishes never to speak to him again. Which reaction would hurt his feelings more?

Here’s another example: A girl is at a dance with her best friend and her bff’s boyfriend. A half an hour into that dance, the boyfriend breaks up with her best friend. Near the end of the dance, the now ex boyfriend asks the girl to be his girlfriend. The girl values her friendship with both her best friend, not wanting to hurt her feelings, she suggests that they just remain friends.

Does THIS girl deserve hate? It’s an awkward situation for this girl to be in and maybe the friendzone is the best way she knows how to handle it. Any other alternative would turn out worse.

Another girl may be asked by someone to be in a relationship and is just not emotionally ready for one. It would be smart of her to just be friends with that someone instead of trying to be in a relationship before she’d ready.

Then, there’s the classic. A guy tells a girl that he likes her, but she just doesn’t like him back. Does she stop being friends with him? That seems harsh. Does she enter into a relationship with this guy that is pretty much a lie on her part? Of course not. Lying to someone like that is horrible in any situation. The friendzone is the only way she can keep the situation from getting out of control.

Besides the friendzone, what do all these girls have in common? Well, for one, all these girls are me.

Now, maybe I am just a terrible person, but I will say that I’ve remained good friends with every single one of these guys (except for the first one).

Guys, girls, the next time you’re friendzoned, instead of feeling hurt, why not try to understand that it could be a lot worse… You could have no friends at all.