So, chickens actually do run around after they’ve had their heads chopped off. Well, “run” isn’t a good word. More like bouncing, but either way.

Today we drove for two hours to my grandparents’ house for little to no reason, which was fine. Upon arriving, I had to run around in the snow a bunch because my brother was hiding things and he didn’t want people to be able to follow his footprints. Oh, yeah, and they had snow. It was borderline blasphemous. Then my uncle came with two chickens that he wanted to eat, so my grandfather brought out a log and we proceeded to execute the chickens. The first chicken didn’t decapitate well with the ax, so my uncle just popped its head off and it was pretty gruesome. Then the stupid, headless chicken started bouncing around. I might have been impressed with its ability to do front flips except for that it was spewing blood everywhere. The other chicken did much the same.

It was then the job of my cousins and me to clean out the chickens’ innards, which was NOTHING like gutting a fish, let me tell you. Mostly I got away with not having to touch many chicken insides, but it was my job to hold the hearts, which was just bizarre. Then we played cards. Then we drove home.

I realize that now my many readers (haha) who are vegetarians or anti-animal cruelty people are going to hate me… I’m sorry. My family is a group of farmers.